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ebay - SIZE 12 WEDDING DRESS

computer : 2008.12.12 00:29


ebay 참고 자료 .

 
 
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SIZE 12 WEDDING DRESS/GOWN NO RESERVE
SURE IS A BEAUTY! CHEAP! USED ONLY ONCE!
Item number: 4146756343
Bidder or seller of this item??a href="http://signin.ebay.com/ws2/eBayISAPI.dll?SignIn&ru=http%3A%2F%2Fcgi.ebay.com%2Fws%2FeBayISAPI.dll%3FViewItem%26item%3D4146756343">Sign in for your status
Bidding has ended for this item.?/b>(absolutsth is the winner)
If you are absolutsth, click the Continue button to pay now.
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Go to larger pictureGo to larger picture
Winning bid: US $3,850.00
Ended: Apr-28-04 15:37:01 PDT
Start time: Apr-23-04?5:37:01 PDT
History: 113 bids ? (US $1.00 starting bid)
Winning bidder: absolutsth( 85 )about me
Item location: Seattle, wa
United States /Seattle-Tacoma
Ships to: United States only
?a href="#ShippingPayment">Shipping and payment detailsShipping and payment details
Description (revised)
Item Specifics - Wedding Dresses
Sleeve Length: Sleeveless, Tank Color: White
Size: Large (10-12) New With Tags: --

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For Sale: One Slightly Used Size 12 Wedding Gown. Only worn twice: Once at the wedding and once for these pictures.

Make: Victoria

Style: 611

Size: 12

Divorce forces sale

?o:p>

I found my ex-wife's wedding dress in the attic when I moved.?She took the $4000 engagement ring but left the dress.?I was actually going to have a dress burning party when the divorce became final, but my sister talked me out of it.?She said, "That’s such a gorgeous dress.?Some lucky girl would be glad to have it. You should sell it on EBay. At least get something back for it."?So, this is what I’m doing.?I’m selling it hoping to get enough money for maybe a couple of Mariners tickets and some beer.?This dress cost me $1200 that my drunken sot of an ex-father-in-law swore up and down he would pay for but didn’t so I got stuck with the bill.?Luckily I only got stuck with his daughter for 5 years. Thank the Lord we didn't have kids. If they would have turned out like her or her family I would have slit my wrists. Anyway, it’s a really nice dress as you can see in the pictures.?Personally, I think it looks like a $1200 shower curtain, but what do I know about this.? We tried taking pictures of this lovely white garment but it didn’t look right on the hanger as you can see, so my sister says, "You need a model."?Well, quite frankly my sister isn’t exactly small, (like a size 12 is?) so she wouldn’t pose for the picture. Seeing as I have sworn off women for the time being and I ain’t friends with any, it left me holding the bag.? I took the liberty of blacking out my face - not to protect the ex-wife but to protect me from my bar buddies and co-workers finding out about it.?I would never live it down.? Actually I didn’t think my head would fit in the neck hole, but then I figured she got her Texas cheerleader hair through there I could get my head in it.?Though, after looking at the pictures, I thought it made me look fat.?How do you women wear this crap? I only had to walk 3 feet and I tripped twice. Don’t worry ladies - I am wearing clothes on underneath it.? I gotta say it did make me feel very pretty.? So if it can make me feel pretty, it can make you feel pretty, especially on the most important day of your life, right?? Anyway, I was told to say it has a train and a veil and all kinds of shiny beady things.?I think it's funny that one picture makes it look like the chest plate off an Imperial Storm Trooper.?Did I mention that all I want is a ball game and beer??Cheap at twice the price.?Ladies, you won’t regret this.?You may regret the dude you marry but not the dress.

Just a little side note - As I was putting this ad in EBay, it asked me for a color.?Is a wedding dress any other freaking color than white or ivory??!!?If it is it wouldn't be a wedding dress, now would it???I suppose black would work...


On Apr-26-04 at 10:38:31 PDT, seller added the following information:

Well, the auction is a little over half over and I am just amazed.? This thing has taken more hits than that pothead that lives in the next building.?Man, oh man, if hits were bucks I’d be getting a suite at Safeco.

I also have received TONS of email.?I don’t have the time to reply to all of them but I just want to let everyone know that I appreciate the well wishes.

Of the email I received:

Five or so were invitations to ball games in other states.? Two of those were for little league games.? Do they have those cushy executive boxes with the free chicken wings at those?

One email was from Scotland.?It’s a good thing he wrote it because I wouldn’t be able to understand a word he said.?Never did get through Braveheart.

Most were thanking me for the laugh. You’re entirely welcome.? Five years of misery was well worth the hearty guffaw that was my pleasure to give you.

Oh, yeah.?I also got three marriage proposals.?Yes, you read it right - three marriage proposals.?I feel like one of those mass murderers on death row.? I never understood how the hell they got more chicks than I did.? Now I know.?They sold crap on eBay.


On Apr-26-04 at 23:45:56 PDT, seller added the following information:

Holy Moly!

The hit counter is starting to look like the odometer in my truck! Not the new shiny black full-size 4-wheel-drive American pick-up that I had to part with, but the somewhat older, multicolored, lumpy, tiny, 2-wheel-drive foreign pick-up that belches smoke. A little something about that vehicle, though: it’s absolutely amazing! When I get inside it to go to the store, I am all depressed. But when I arrive at the store, I’m so freaking loopy from inhaling the fumes, I forget why I went there in the first place. I’m saving buckets of money. Of course, I will probably have to spend it all on the tuberculosis I will acquire, but hey, you can’t have everything.

I felt compelled to update this ad once more due to all of your emails. The first thing I have to say is thank you all for your support in my time of need. It was a truly harrowing experience. Some of you men know exactly what I mean.

Seeing as this has turned into my little public forum, I just want to address a few of the emails that kind of left me scratching my head.

I now have five marriage proposals. You would think my speaking of the ones I already got yesterday would have put a damper on it, but you women sure are persistent. One woman actually said she doesn’t want to marry me, but wouldn’t mind being my ex-wife. Hmmm. Let me think about that. Nope. No thanks, already got one. (Pssst. Didn’t I mention I had one? Who wants an ex-wife that can’t read? Now, I know what you guys are thinking - "If she can’t read, then the divorce would be smooth sailing." Well, that would be all well and good but I didn’t say her ATTORNEY couldn’t read. You following me on this?)

Other emails are serious buyers asking about the dress. "How long is the train?" and "Does the gown come with the headdress and veil?" Yes, headdress and veil are included, but the do-rag stays with me. And if the train was long enough for my ex’s caboose, it’s long enough for yours. You will have to supply your own baggage, though. I gave mine to Goodwill.

There was this one woman who wrote, "You should have covered your tattoos. People will be able to recognize you, like on America’s Most Wanted." HELLO!!! I’m a guy selling a dress. I’m not wanted for war crimes.

Some of your emails made me laugh. Like the bitter woman that wished she had her ex’s testicles to sell on eBay. I’m not too sure there’s a market for that, though. Then there was the guy that gave his wife’s wedding dress to the Salvation Army by mistake, thinking it was a Christmas tree. Guess he didn’t have any Christmas balls that year.

This has also been a learning experience for me. I got a lot of messages correcting me about the color of wedding dresses. For Russian Orthodox, they are blue. For Chinese they are red. Mexico has multi-colored ones. All I know is, for my next wedding I will be wearing a hairy, flesh-toned ensemble because I will be buck naked with a toe tag lying on a slab in the morgue because I would have killed myself.

A lot of folks were asking me if I wear women’s dresses a lot. I can honestly say that this is the first time I have ever donned female attire. It’s also the first time I’ve been inside something feminine that didn’t nag me to take out the garbage.

It seems a few people have taken offense to my inferring a size 12 is big. One male even pointed out that Marilyn Monroe was a size 14. Now, I would agree with you that size 12/14 is small if I lived elsewhere. But I live right here in the good old 48 Contiguous, where binging and purging is a way of life. American women do not want to be double digits in size. Just ask any woman what size they want to be. Invariably they will say five or seven. Wealthy will be the person that opens a store for Lane Bryant-sized women but sews size 7 tags on all the clothes.

On the flip side of that, I have taken offense to some of the people that told me I’m ugly and a loser. All I have to say is you’d be ugly too if you had a huge white blotch on your face. And as far as being a loser, I think you have it all wrong. I am such the winner. It isn’t every day an average guy can make 50,000 people laugh. Thanks to each and every one of you from the heart of my bottom.

Because of the high profile of this item, I am changing the listing to Pre-Approved Bidders Only. To be pre-approved, please contact me at horseplaypublishing@hotmail.com and include "Serious Bidder" in the subject line of the email and I will return your email to pre-approve your bidding on the auction. Thank you for your interest.

Woooooooohoooooo! What a wild ride! The emails are coming faster than the hits. And now personal appearances. First Star94 radio in Atlanta, then King5 in Seattle,now the Today Show with that I-used-to-be-a-fat-weatherman-but-now-I-am-as-skinny-as-Regis-but-twice-as-funny Al "I will turn this car around" Roker.
It is amazing; all this media hype. Hey, Al! Any relation to Roxy?
EBay has graciously allowed me to update this page once more. So I will keep it brief.

This one guy emailed me and said, "Hey, bud. What part of Texas do you live?"
Uh... Well, sir, I am from Seattle. Uh, Seattle, Texas.
Right next to AreYouAFreakingMoron, Texas, which is a hop, skip and jump from IWasEducatedByGeorgeBush, Texas. Thanks for asking, neighbor.

We have a website coming that everyone can check out. It will be up soon.

Please only bid if you are serious. Or really, really hot.

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FREE Counters and Services from Andale
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Shipping and handling:
?span class="help">(within United States)
Standard shipping service: US $15.00
Shipping insurance: US $5.00?span class="help">(Optional)
Will ship to United States only.
Seller's payment instructions & return policy:
Buyer pays shipping and handling. Sale is final. Marriage isn't.
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  1. 아프냐 2008.12.12 01:13 PERM. MOD/DEL REPLY

    ? 선생님 제가 영어도 아파요 ㅎ 웬일이죠? 늘 습관처럼 찾아오지만 댓글도 없이 얻어만가는 빌어먹는 놈을 이해하세요 아는게 힘 이라는데 힘이없어 ㅎ 孝 라는 한자의 의미를 여쭈러 왔다가...

  2. bongta 2008.12.12 17:56 신고 PERM. MOD/DEL REPLY

    이혼한 한 남자의 유머라 할까 또는
    저리 자신의 입장을 희화할 정도의 여유가 재미있어 소개해본 것입니다.

    결혼할 때 한번, 그리고 이베이에 팔려고 내놓으려고 사진 찍으려고 한번,
    도합 딱 두 번밖에 입지 않은 사이즈 12짜리 드레스.
    그녀는 $4000 짜리 약혼반지는 가지고 갔지만,
    이 드레스는 남겨 두고 사라졌다.
    ....

    슬픔 한자락이 보이기도 하고,
    우스워서 차라리 의연한 모습이라니...

    ***

    孝에 대하여는 제가 잘 알지도 못하지만, 알아도 감히 적지를 못하겠군요.
    워낙 불효한 인간이라 주제넘게 효라는 말씀 꺼내는 게 한참 죄만스럽기 때문입니다.

    다만 갈짓자로 그냥 건듯건듯 건너가 봅니다.
    문득 생각합니다.
    고대에 효를 깨우쳐 교시하는 고사는 많이 있습니다.
    반면 툭하면 아비가 자식 죽이고, 자식이 아비 죽이는 예도 비일비재합니다.
    이런 고사를 접하면 끔찍하기도 합니다만,
    따지고 보면 지금이라고 어디 다를 바 있겠는지요?
    약간의 양식(樣式)만 변형되었을 뿐 대차 없다는 게 제 생각입니다.

    유교에 효경, 불교엔 부모은중경의 경전이 있습니다만,
    지나간 서책 훑는다고 나의 이 자리가 달라질 턱이 있겠는지요?

    효경을 보면, - 약간의 비판적 평가를 가한다면,
    어버이 섬김으로서 온 천하의 애경(愛敬)과 덕(德)의 모범을
    이끌어내고자 하는 양 싶습니다만,
    개중에 입신(立身)을 논하고 있는 것으로 보아서는,
    이게 관직에 나아가 이름을 남겨야 한다고 가르치고 있는 것입니다.
    이것을 효도의 길이라 이르고 있는 것이지요.

    입신을 어떻게 새기느냐에 다르기는 합니다.
    이것을 벼슬을 하여 이름을 떨치는 것,
    즉 입신양명(立身揚名)으로 볼 것이냐,
    아니면 개인의 인격적 완성으로 보느냐 하는 것인데,
    아무리 좋게 보아도 전자의 뜻이 분명합니다.

    이게 요즘 현대식으로 하면,
    “좋은 자리에 취직하여 돈 많이 버는 것”하고 오버랩 되는군요.
    결국은 아무리 효도가 백행의 근본이니, 사회적 통합의 기초라고 말하고 있습니다만,
    속고갱이를 헤집어 보면 결국 출세하여 부모를 기쁘게 하고,
    나아가 천하에 이름을 날려 가문에 빛을 내어라 하는 주문도 암암리에 숨어 있지요.

    이는 이쯤에서 그치고,
    다만, 문의가 계셨은즉,
    간단히 아는 글자 뜻풀이 정도의 상식적인 말씀을 보태며 조금 더 생각해 보겠습니다.

    孝는 老가 변형되었다고 보는 것입니다.
    老는 갑골문 상 굽은 몸에다 긴 머리카락을 상징하고 있으며,
    특히 匕는 손을 내밀어 짚는 ‘지팡이’를 뜻하는 형상입니다.
    孝는 老에 있는 匕 대신 아들 子가 대신 들어가 있습니다.

    이는 노인을 자식이 업은 모습이 됩니다.
    자식이 노인을 봉양하는 뜻을 머금게 됩니다.
    부모가 어렸을 때는 자식을 업고 길렀다면,
    이젠 거꾸로 자식이 부모를 업어 봉양한다라는 뜻이 되겠네요.

    까마귀의 반포(反哺), 즉 새끼가 다 자라 어미를 먹여주는 것을 이르는데,
    이에 까마귀를 효조(孝鳥)라 부르지요.
    반면 중국에서는 올빼미는 어미를 잡아먹는 몹쓸 새로 그리고 있습니다.
    이 올빼미와 관련되어서는
    영고숙이 이를 빗대어 정장공의 불효를 깨우치는 유명한 고사가 있습니다.
    원래 정장공의 어머니가 잘못해도 보통 잘못한 정도가 아니었지만,
    영고숙의 가르침을 받아 다시 효도를 행했다라는 고사입니다.

    보통은 이 고사를 ‘효의 발양’ 그 모범 사례로 거론합니다.
    하지만,
    이게 표면적으로는 아름다운 효의 실천으로 보입니다만,
    제가 보기엔 정치적인 고려가 있었다고 생각합니다.
    요즘 식으로 말하면 對국민 이미지메이킹을 한 측면을 엿볼 수 있습니다.
    언제나 인간의 삶이란 이중적이지요.
    언제 때가 되면 정식으로 이 이야기를 할 수 있겠습니다만,
    이 또한 댓글이니 이 정도에서 그쳐야겠네요.

    천하의 공론(公論)은
    효라는 것을 백행의 근본이라고들 하지만,
    "지극히 사적인 차원을 벗어날 수 없다."
    이리 외로 틀어 한번 생각해보고 싶었습니다.
    이게 옳다 그르다라고 하는 말씀이 아니라,
    오늘은 한번 이리 심술을 부려보고 싶네요.

    ***

    그런데 말씀 중에 ‘빌어먹는...’ 云云하신 것에 눈길이 멈춥니다.

    해서 잠깐 든 생각을 펴봅니다.
    혹 오해하지 마세요.
    사이 좋은 친구의 위치에서 드리는 말씀입니다.

    예컨대 말입니다.
    만약 스승-제자간이라면 사승(師承) 즉 배워서 이어받음이니,
    제자 입장에서는 간절한 배움의 뜻과 정성은 있을지언정
    빌어먹는(乞)다는 것은 있을 수 없습니다.

    한편, 지금의 저와의 사이처럼,
    여기 웹상에서 만나는 사람들끼리는 저는 절대 수평적인 관계라고 생각합니다.
    ( ※ 참고 글 : 아름품과 꽃바다(華嚴) - http://bongta.com/403 )
    그러하니, 서로 주고받음은 있을지언정,
    乞은 절대 있을 수 없습니다.
    혹여, 빌리고 꾸어주는 관계, 대차관계가 있을 양 싶습니다만,
    이 또한 채무관계라든가 부담을 지는 것이니,
    이 웹이라는 절대 평등 공간에서는,
    구태여 그리 생각할 필요는 없다고 저는 생각합니다.

    乞이라는 것은 어떠한 경우라도 올바르지 않습니다.
    비록 거지라 하여도 乞食한다고 생각하는 한,
    그에게 구원은 없습니다.
    자존이 없다면 걸식하는 이도, 적선을 베푸는 이도
    모두 도로(徒勞), 헛수고를 하고 있는 것이라고 저는 생각합니다.

    제가 웹상에서 벌어지는 일을 두고
    손쉽게들 덩달아 우우 몰려 다니면서 ‘집단지성’이라고 부르는 것을 혐오하는 것도,
    편승하는 모습들, 자존의 실종을 목격하는 게 불편하기 때문이기도 합니다.
    ( ※ 참고 글 : 안개이야기 - http://bongta.com/375 )

    인도의 거지들은 적선을 받으면,
    그게 외려 당신에게 선행을 베풀 기회를 준 것이니,
    고마울 것이 없다고 생각한다지요.
    이 순간 보시도 없고, 걸식도 없습니다.
    양자가 그저 달처럼 둥그런 관계망에 놓여 있을 뿐입니다.
    이런 ‘박시시’ 문화를 생각해보는 것입니다.

    물론 겸양의 말씀인줄 백번 알고도 남음이 있습니다만,
    그리 사양하실 필요는 없으신 것이지요.
    그래 조금 용기를 내어 말씀 드려봅니다.

    한발 더 나아가, 다른 주제로 드릴 말씀이 있는데,
    괜찮으시다면 비밀댓글 하나를 남겨 주시겠습니까?
    거기에 댓글 저장시 사용하신 비밀번호를 꼭 남겨 주세요.
    별도로 드릴 말씀은 그 비밀번호에 의지하여 ‘비밀글’로 드리고 싶기 때문입니다.
    만약 글 하나 주시면, 제가 거기에 덧글 하나 이어 쓰면,
    그 비밀번호로 읽어 보실 수 있으실 것입니다.

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